the rules have changed

Well, here I am! After living out of a suitcase for three weeks, sleeping on couches and craigslisting my ass off, I can finally say that I'm a resident of San Francisco! I made it! And all my stuff finally did too - posters, photos, and everything else that makes me feel at home arrived just a few days ago in travel-worn cardboard boxes. Yay!
I'm still getting settled in here, learning the bus lines, trying to have a good time without going broke, all while waitressing about 6 days a week. But just as I expected, even with things as chaotic as they are, I've found plenty of time to write since I got here. Everything around me teems with wild and unique beauty, delighting my eyes and inspiring new ideas around every turn. I currently have one investigative piece in the works, but for now I'd like to address an issue that has likely hit home for every modified Albert and Christina out there. How do you have to un-modify your body to accommodate your workplace's dress code? Most of my managers in the past have been totally accepting of my mods, but my most recent job at Chili's in CT had a much stricter, corporation-dictated dress code that left no room for metal or ink of any kind on the dining room floor. For this reason, I wasn't sure what to expect at the new restaurant I'm working at in San Bruno. Would they be ok with my ever-changing candy-colored coif? My 3/4" plugs? The clear vertical labret retainer I usually wear to work? The calla lilies on my arm that peek out from short-sleeved shirts?
Before my first day of work I had to go in for a number of (stupid) evaluations which, supposedly, determine if I have the right stuff to be a server. After completing an SAT-reminiscent exam that evaluated my mathematic and linguistic ability, and a personality exam to ensure that I'm not a psychopath, I was subjected to a test in which a manager read off hypothetical restaurant situations and I had to respond with potential ways to handle them. Thankfully I passed all of the tests, and was handed a schedule with my name filled in for four shifts that week. Whoo, money!! Before I left, the manager gave a me a little rundown of the rules, including dress code. "I'm supposed to tell you that tattoos can't be showing," he told me with a grin, obviously implying that they have better things to worry about, like good service and happy customers, than some harmless ink. I scanned the restaurant and noticed a tattoo on one server's elbow, and another girl whose rolled up long sleeves revealed full tat sleeves. Things were looking good.
My first day of work came, and actually went pretty smoothly. The customers tipped well, I didn't mess up any orders, and the other servers were all pretty cool. In fact, nearly all of them wore some variety of facial piercing, from monroes to labrets to eyebrows. I began asking the servers about the piercing policy, and nearly all of them referred me to a poster in the office that laid out the (arbitrary) rules for "what's hot" and "what's not" when it comes to mods in the workplace. Here are a few shots of the poster that I stealthily snagged with my phone:
I have to say, I was pleasantly surprised by the guidelines. The "no piercing over 16 gauge" rule ensured that I wouldn't have to wear that stupid retainer in my vertical labret anymore! Also, the wearing of band-aids over piercings, an unsightly practice required by many CT food service employers, is openly discouraged by the poster. I never understood the band-aid solution - a piercing is a piercing but a lump under a band-aid could be anything! It's distracting, unsanitary, and terrible for the piercing, especially if it’s relatively new.
According to my new manager the poster had been distributed not more than a year ago. So although a bit late, I commend Chili's for actually getting with the times and realizing that piercings and tattoos are incredibly common these days and that they don't carry the same connotations they have in the past. Well, apparently some still do, such as the septum piercing, which is specifically forbidden by the poster. However, although both full sleeves and large gauge ear piercings are supposedly "not hot,” they seem to be accepted without question in practice. This made me wonder, will updated guidelines continue to be released to keep up with changing trends and levels of social acceptability? Will the surface anti-eyebrow featured in one of the poster photos soon become the new hot accessory, merely a conversation piece rather than an extreme, shocking facial adornment? Who can tell…an amalgamation of media images, cultural norms dictated by peers, and personal experience combine to form our perceptions of what is socially acceptable in any given situation. Although we can all agree on what is appropriate in some situations, others will always be grounds for disagreement. Thus guidelines like those laid out in the poster will always be only one version of what's considered "acceptable" or "mainstream" in the realm of body mods.
For now, I’m more than happy with the minimal adjustments I have to make before going into work. I actually agree with the corporate opinion that my septum piercing should be hidden, and even when I was allowed to look however I wanted at my old café job I didn’t wear it out. I don’t even notice it on myself anymore, but I realize that it is a bit distracting for other people, especially older folks.
San Francisco is such a wonderful environment to live in - every single day I see people on the street grinning like children, dressed like children, stumbling along like children. No one cares if you have a chocolate ice cream stain on your shirt or ropelike dreads for hair or a face full of tattoos - everyone is accepted here for who they are and what they choose to look like. Of course this place isn't some fantasyland utopia where everyone gets along, but it's pretty damn close. And I feel absolutely blessed that I'm getting the opportunity to be a part of it.

i'd never stare you wrong!

SO, big news in my life MSOMers! I'm moving out of CT and into SF: San Francisco! I've just recently returned from an apartment-scouting adventure there, and will be returning in less than two weeks to get myself set up! Dunno if all the !!!exclamation points!!! gave it away but I'm pretty fired up about this move - I've always stuck out like a sore thumb in my little suburban CT town, and although it's nice to stand out from the crowd, it sure as fuck isn't nice getting hassled about my look all the time when, to me, this is "normal." SO- yay! Wish me luck! And if you're out in Frisco yourself, hit me up!

In any case, one morning while I was in SF last week I decided that I realllly wanted some salmon eggs Benedict. I walked block after block, only finding no-frills diners and coffee shops along the way. I had already been walking evvverywhere for the past few days so my legs were super sore, and it was almost noon which meant that I was approaching scrooge status as a result of not yet having eaten breakfast. I finally gave up on trying to find a place that served the eggs Benedict and decided I would settle for anyplace with the word "Breakfast" in the window. Then, just when I thought all hope of finding myself some friggin' pancakes was lost, and was about ready to head into one of the kajillion taquerias in the Mission District and settle for lunch, I finally saw it: Boogaloos. It wasn't the delectable-looking food on the patio diners' plates that drew me in, nor the eggs Benedict - they didn't serve it on weekdays. What attracted me was the people - the lovely inked people. They were outside, waiting for tables; inside dining; and, best of all, waiting on tables! Ink ink everywhere, and not-a one looked botched. There was some top-notch shit on display! I immediately scribbled my name down on the waiting list and kicked back to take in the scene.

Nice tits...I mean tats....

The entire time I was at Boogaloos I enjoyed all the eye candy with shameless curiosity. I stared. Hard. At one point, when I was basically inches away from a girl about my age with colorful full sleeves, I suddenly realized I was treating her more like an art exhibit than a fellow human! Viewing her tats was indeed like a gallery exhibit opening - complete with the "artist" in attendance for the interrogational pleasure of her "fans." When I finally managed to break free from the trance her gorgeous work had put me in I took advantage of this opportunity and began to ask her about her ink - where had she gotten this one done? what exactly is this one? how long ago had she gotten that one done? its colors are still so vibrant!
During the rest of my stay in SF I saw a LOT of ink. Especially at Dolores park, a beer and ganja-fueled haven for hipsters, surfers, bikers, and families alike. I spent more than a few sunny afternoons camped out in the park with my Blue Moons, iPhone, and various reading materials close at hand, frequently stopping to just gaze around me and scope out mods. The temperature on these days held fast at around 70 degrees, which meant that afternoons in the park had a skimpy dress code, providing prime opportunities to both display and peep mods. All these mods out in the open got me thinking about the experience of being heavily modded, and how one must learn to endure/ignore the stares that their captivating adornments are sure to attract.
The question is, bottom line, is it appropriate to stare at mods? I do it all the time, and usually assume that if the wearer notices my intrigued expression they're probably just flattered that someone appreciates their work. But I'm the kind of person who doesn't like to make other people uncomfortable, so of course I've had moments of hesitation in which I think to myself "Hm, maybe they don't like being inspected like this, maybe it's distracting them or making them self-conscious..." Despite my concern, I usually decide that if the ink is quality, the wearer HAS to have anticipated being surveyed by both mod enthusiasts and mod skeptics alike. At least I'm of the former camp! And if the work isn't quality...well I think we can all agree that averting one's eyes is the best course of action in such cases - that'd be like staring directly at a massive zit on a stranger's face!
Personally, I get asked about my tats every single day at work. I always feel a bit odd giving the same rehearsed (not by choice!) explanation of my ink, but I don't think I've ever felt uncomfortable knowing someone is looking at my mods. I'm proud of each and every one of them, and would probably stare at the same tats on another person! Hm- now that I think about it, I wonder if my affinity for mods that adorn the back of my body is of any significance in terms of my (subconscious?) feelings about being looked at. Do I prefer to assume people are in awe of my Ukrainian egg-bedecked calves or my nape piercings (R.I.P.) rather than actually witness the (potentially horrified) inspection going down? Do these mods allow me to believe I'm ALWAYS being looked at, satisfying a hard-to-admit yet (presumably) natural desire for attention? To be honest, I definitely think so. This tidbit of personal introspection leads me to wonder if perhaps all modders like being looked at, even if the stares aren't always approving. If so, does that make us narcissistic? Or just human? Either way, if it is true that modders like being treated as pieces of fine art I guess I shouldn't feel so hesitant about staring! Good thing, 'cause now that I'll be residing in SF the inked eye candy is in no short supply! Yay!

pin me up, scotty

I recently happened upon this great Pin-Up Tattoo blog, inadvertently rekindling my love of the sultry images upon which the tats are based. I kinda forgot about pin-ups (a.k.a. cheesecake) for awhile, but now I can't stop looking at em! Pin-ups got their name during WWI and II when soldiers would tack photos of scantily clad, seductively posed women up in their bunks for some company on those lonely nights. Shortly thereafter artists such as Alberto Vargas and Gil Elvgren started making illustrations based on these types of photos, resulting in stunningly realistic and wall-worthy pin-up prints. Then one day some particularly lonely lad got sick of waiting till lights-out to be close to his imaginary lover and decided to get her image indelibly inked on his skin. Although the first pin-up tattoo probably didn't raise any...ahem...one's attention, or drop any jaws, the ones we see nowadays are like freakin' wearable softcore porn. Seriously -they're mind-blowingly realistic, and often very, very...hot.
Modern pin-up tattoos range from photo-realistic renderings of classic pin-up images to new school sexy zombies with blood-soaked tee-shirts. Each seems to reflect the particular tastes of its wearer, featuring the qualities that make up his or her ideal fantasy woman. Every pin-up is different, proving that contrary to the beliefs of Mattel and Vogue, there is no one "ideal female form." Now, the idea of pin-up tattoos as actually beneficial to womankind may seem a bit ass-backwards, but in my opinion, it's true! The same goes for the original pin-ups themselves, as they helped usher in an era of women who actually felt comfortable with their sexuality for once. Pin-ups sent the message that it was finally ok to be sexy and damn proud of it! Some may argue that "lewd" photos of women portray us as "sex objects" whose sole purpose is to provide men with pleasure. Pish posh, I say. As a wise woman once said "As long as I am an erotic subject, I am not averse to being an erotic object." Plus, these days, guys aren't the only ones who are utilizing the "male gaze" to ogle the ladies. I know that when I'm out with my girlfriends we always scope out the girls in the room. Hot legs...great hair...look at that ass! We're just admiring, and who doesn't (even if secretly) long to be admired? In my opinion, pin-ups are simply another way to show one's appreciation for the female form and women in general. Some guys even opt to have custom pin-ups based on their real-life female counterparts inked as an ode to their old lady. Way more romantic than a name tat, that's for sure!
Now, I can say that I've definitely thought about getting a pin-up tattoo in the past, especially after discovering some stunning modern pin-up images a few years back. To me, the idea of getting a pin-up tattoo has always seemed so natural. I am indeed bisexual, and would love to have a seductive lil' ink kitten gracing my skin. But when I really truly consider actually getting such a tat...I can't help but wonder how it'll come off, especially to the elder generations.
My mom would absolutely hate me for getting a pin-up. I think she'd see it as pornographic, even if the girl wasn't naked, simply because as a female I *shouldn't* find women sexually attractive. Now, she has no idea that I'm bi. I don't feel it's necessary to explain this part of my life to her, mainly because I don't think I'll ever settle down with a girl. Also, it would absolutely freak her out. She's pretty liberal-minded, but totally and completely against gay marriage and homosexuality in general. I don't think she'd be able to even comprehend why I would get a pin-up tat. It would totally blow her mind to bits. And it's not just her - while older lady folk seem to love my calla lily tattoo, I doubt they would even acknowledge a pin-up tat, opting instead to discuss its utter vulgarity behind my back. Getting a pin-up tat is just not a ladylike thing to do!
Ok, one last point. As I sat in my jacuzzi (jealous?) last night contemplating sporting a pin-up tat, I realized that, no matter the particular image, having such a tat would accord perfectly with my personal views on the modern woman. I wear sneakers with skirts. I swear like a drunken sailor. I love dirtbikes and anime. And yes, obvi, I have tats and piercings. I'm not the typical girl, and I think that my adherence to the things in life that I love despite what others may think would be topped off nicely by a pin-up tat. Early pin-ups helped bust down barriers that kept women from loving their bodies, and many girls from my generation are decking themselves out in...well...whatever they want! These days, the ideal woman is a woman who loves and is true to herself.
So, although some pin-up tats are just plain raunchy, in general I think they're a-ok. After all, sometime's all you need is a little T&A to get you through your day!

self-contained pharmacy

As a result of this so-called recession and my efforts to save up for my long-awaited move to San Francisco later this spring, I’ve recently decided to ditch the acrylic claws I’ve been sporting since summer. Upkeep just got too pricey, and despite how much I’m going to miss the orgasmic sensation they lent to hair-washing, they simply had to go. But before they did I had an experience with ‘em that unexpectedly led to some new insights on the body and its miraculous ability to heal itself.
I was enjoying a relaxing night at a friend’s house, just hanging around blabbing and drinking my famous mojitos. After finishing off the last of the Bacardi I went to toss the empty bottle into the pull-out garbage contraption under her sink, but didn’t realize that the drawer was spring-loaded. It snapped back into place before I could remove my hand, catching one of my nails and leaving it with a horizontal hairline crack. I of course uttered the requisite profanities, but thought nothing of the seemingly minor injury…until two days later. Upon attempting to fall asleep that night I couldn’t shake the sense that something was wrong with my now throbbing and slightly hot fingernail. I decided that I needed to remove the acrylic nail, which I had repaired with nail glue, and relieve the pressure. Upon doing so (which by the way was an uncomfortable 20-minute ordeal) I found that not only the acrylic nail but my own nail was cracked. This left room for an infection to creep in, hence the yellowish puss that emerged when I finally managed to get all of the acrylic off. Okay…this is turning into a longer story than I had meant it to be…so I’ll just say that I was basically left with only half a nail and half a swollen, tender, sore patch of exposed flesh. It looked terrible that night, bright red and seeping, but as the days went on the wound healed incredibly fast. A callous formed in less than a day and the nail grew back within a week. I marveled at the way my body had healed itself, kicking the infection, protecting the raw skin, and re-growing the nail all in a matter of days.
Sci-fi books and movies offer tales of limbs that can re-grow within seconds of being severed, and wounds that heal almost instantaneously after being obtained. Real-life healing is not quite so miraculous, but our bodies are capable of reversing injuries and illnesses that can in some cases seem irreversible. This type of healing occurs automatically, that is, without any conscious effort on the part of the victim. But is it also possible to utilize one’s mind to facilitate healing? In my experience, and according to the accounts of both patients and medical professionals the world over, it sure is.
Take visualization, for example. It is said that by visualizing one’s cancerous cells becoming healthy again, or visualizing a rash disappearing, one can actually aid in the acceleration of such healing. Mental techniques such as the shifting of one’s focus away from pain can also be a valuable addition to other methods of pain management. Or what about the placebo effect? Time and time again, participants in medical trials who are administered sugar pills have been known to reap the benefits of the medication they believe they’re being given. In these cases, the intangible, our thoughts, have a measurable healing effect on the tangible, our bodies. This relationship got me thinking – when it comes to body modification, does the reverse correlation apply? Can our bodies heal our minds?
Damn right they can.

Just a few examples I can think of:
-Some tattoos remind us of what’s important in life, like straight-edge tattoos. The wearer sees his or her XXX tattoo every day, reinforcing the mindset that led to becoming edge in the first place.
-Memorial tattoos, which many people claim have been tremendously helpful with the grieving process.
-Tattoos in general often boost confidence and improve body image.
-Suspension is said to reduce anxiety and increase confidence in many hangers. Such an undertaking puts an unfathomable strain on the mind, perhaps even more so than on the body. The individual is forced to pit mind against body, ignoring or distracting themselves from the overwhelming urge to escape the intense pain and pressure that comes along with suspending. Relief is a choice, and in deciding to remain hanging, even if only for a short period of time, the individual may come to realize or discover his or her mental potential. Many have reported experiencing a heightened sense of control over their emotions and lives in general after a suspension experience.

The body and mind are in an inextricable relationship with one another. They are in constant interaction, and under the right circumstances they can even heal one another. But they can also seriously disturb one another, as studies on how stress affects physical health have quite clearly shown. Here, the mind takes a toll on the body. The body can also have a negative impact on the mind, though, as when individuals with (what they consider to be) a less than ideal physical appearance become depressed or debilitatingly self-conscious.
These examples go to show that we should perhaps be more aware of our thoughts and the images we choose to harbor in our minds. We should, by the same token, also think carefully about what we choose to do with our bodies. Tattoos that remind us of negative aspects of life, such as one I recently saw inscribed on an old friend that reads “Love Kills Slowly,” just don’t make sense to me. Now, perhaps all the theories out there about visualization and positive thinking are a big load of horse shit, but on the off chance that they’re not, I plan to steer clear of mods with any kind of a negative association. Even if the sentiment represented by my friend’s tattoo has been a prevalent theme in his life thus far, is it one that he wants to remember forever? Is it one that he wants reinforced every time he looks at his arm? Perhaps it’s more badass than a tat that reads “Love Is All You Need,” but more functional? I seriously doubt it.
So, my little modsters, love your bodies. Funny how for us that means sticking them with needles and hanging them from 6g hooks! Nonetheless, take care of ‘em, and they’ll be sure to repay you with a mindset as brilliant as the reflection of the sun’s rays off your labret.

p.s. - Peep this story from Discovery news. A recently developed tattoo ink can alert Diabetes sufferers to abnormal blood glucose levels! Maybe now we'll get some respekt!

sak it to me, i'm wearing protection

This past weekend the first ever tattoo convention in Asia was held in Singapore, drawing tattoo artists and enthusiasts from around the world to share their love of the ancient practice. Although tattooing has been popular in Asia far longer than in the West, its prevalence amongst Asian youth has until recently been quite low. This lack of interest is primarily due to the fact that many traditional Asian tattoo styles are linked to specific religious traditions or belief systems, thus making them more than just a decorative adornment. They have esoteric significance, and unless an individual is seriously devoted to the meaning behind the image it's not likely that they would even consider obtaining a tattoo. There is also the issue of social acceptance to worry about, as being a tatted visitor to a small village could result in rude or even violent reactions from locals unfamiliar with the benevolent roots of the adornments. However, with the exponential increase in the popularity of tattooing amongst mainstream Westerners in the past ten to twenty years, some Asian youth have caught the bug and are taking the plunge into the world of ink.
For some, like one kid interviewed by the Associated Press at the Singapore convention, Western style tats are the way to go. He notes that his family doesn't approve of tattoos, but says he wanted to get his "Live Free, Die Hard" tattoo in an effort to express his individuality. Others, however, are looking to their cultural roots for fulfillment of their modding desires. Despite the fact that individuals from Southeast Asia collectively subscribe to wide variety of long-held religious and spiritual beliefs, it seems that when it comes to tattooing, they all find common ground in Sak Yant, a Thai tattooing tradition.
Upon learning about Sak Yant tattoos I was intrigued to find out that the style's combination of an image (yantra, in Sanskrit) and a Pali verse (mantra, in Sanskrit) represents a blend of Hindu and Buddhist symbols and teachings. Although it seems that the majority of those who wish to acquire Sak Yant tattoos are Buddhists, Hindu Brahmins also consider the practice a valuable addition to their many other religious rituals and traditions. Even more fascinating, for me at least, is the primary purpose of attaining a Sak Yant tattoo: protection. These inked creations are purported to shield the wearer from physical harm, and not just sickness or accidents. It is said that individuals with a Sak Yant have been known to miraculously escape knife and gun attacks that would otherwise have fatally injured them. Some have even been hit with bullets only to have them bounce off their flesh, leaving nothing but a small welt. As someone who has experienced the feeling of being protected by my mods, I was suddenly drawn deeply into this tradition to discover a new spin on the idea of mods as a method of defense.
Essentially, Sak Yant tattoos cloak their bearer in a suit of prayers. Although some secular artists claim to provide Sak Yants despite their lack of religious qualification, it is said that only monks and masters can apply and activate truly functional Sak Yants. As with any religious ceremony, there are special preparations and guidelines that must be followed if the adornment is to be optimally effective for its prescribed purpose. Specific elements of the ritual vary depending on its location, context (public vs. private), and the religious background of the practitioner, but it almost always involves recitation of the mantra being inscribed by the artist during the procedure. The tattooee must also mentally repeat the mantra over and over, which is said to help enhance the effectiveness of the charm and to distract the individual from the intense pain caused by the procedure. And distraction is definitely a necessity, considering that most Sak Yants are created by hand with a long steel skewer that is rapidly and repeatedly jabbed into the flesh, depositing a bluish-black ink that is said to actually darken over time. There are infinite combinations of yantra and mantra that can be applied, each wielding a unique and quite specific power that is only truly understood by the monk or master applying the tattoo. The magical qualities of these designs are purportedly so powerful that some individuals choose to undergo the procedure with oil rather than ink, leaving their skin perforated but not permanently marked and their soul just as fortified as if they had gotten inked. On the opposite extreme are individuals who choose to spike the ink to be used in their Sak Yant with the bile, saliva, or blood of particularly powerful or courageous animals. Now that's hardcore. The only thing perhaps more hardcore than imbuing your skin with bear bile is allowing yourself to be tattooed with instruments that have not been sterilized and trusting that the power of the tattoo's charms will protect you from contracting any blood borne diseases. Wait...is that hardcore, or just plain idiotic? Well, apparently it works, because there have been no reported cases of infection after obtaining a Sak Yant, hygienic (which they often are) or not. Now, if these features don't impress you, there's one more aspect of Sak Yant application that's pretty friggin intense, and puts to shame my recent 4-hour calf tat session. Although some Sak Yant are completed in mere minutes, others are applied over a period of 24 hours, only breaking to allow time for the skin and muscles to relax after being mercilessly pulverized like the chicken fried steak at your local chain steakhouse. Phew, screw marathons, that takes serious endurance!

So, who are these maniacs gettin all Yanted up? Well, there are a few different camps of Sak Yantees: the devotees and disciples who have studied with the monk or master who applies their tat, and observe a number of abstentions prior to and following application; the gangsters and mercenaries who sometimes, but not always, abide by prescribed pre- and post-procedure abstentions and are primarily in it for the magic powers of protection and courage said to be obtained via the tats; and the lay people like Angelina Jolie and a slew of Muay Thai fighters who have heard legends about these mystical adornments and wish to personally test the verity of their power or simply obtain a genuine Thai tattoo. So, are the latter two groups still able to reap the benefits of their Sak Yants, despite their inability to fully understand the traditions behind the practice? There is much disagreement on this point, with some claiming that those who do not abide by the guidelines dictated by their practitioner will go insane as a consequence of taking lightly the ancient and esoteric practice. Others see Sak Yants as an amulet of sorts that can be worn by anyone who puts their faith in its power. In any case, most agree that a Sak Yant's effectiveness is positively guaranteed to sputter out if it is used for any evil deeds. This got me thinking: many gang tattoos are acquired as a result of having participated in criminal activities, thus serving as a message to society that the person is not to be messed with, while Sak Yant tattoos signify an individual who should not be messed with either, but because of their piety rather than criminality. These individuals are publicly recognized as being protected by spiritual forces, and thus don't need a history of violence to prevent themselves from being hassled.
Now, although Sak Yant tattoos are said to darken in appearance over time, their power is said to fade quite rapidly. Thus, many devotees return to their master for a new tattoo every year in order to renew the charms found therein. Others may return for additional rounds of inking in anticipation of a particularly perilous journey or undertaking to strengthen their already active spiritual defense system. Let's see, pocket knife, check, water jug, check, Sak Yant, checkkkkk.
So, if you happened to clickity-click on the above link to my original blog post, you'll know that my interpretation of mods as protection is quite different from that of Sak Yant bearers. I feel protected by my mods because they lend my appearance a roughness and thus earn me...as embarrassing as it is to say this...street cred of a sort. Obviously my mods can't protect me from every potential encounter with danger, but it's my belief that they definitely help. And maybe the real power of tats as protection lies in the belief -you know, in a placebo kinda way?
In any case, despite the difference in Western tats from Thai tats, I think Westerners can learn a thing or two from the Sak Yant tradition that may make our modding experiences, if not more powerful, perhaps more fulfilling. For example, the custom of reciting the mantra associated with one's Sak Yant can be applied to Western tattooing in that we might try focusing on the intent or subject of the tattoo being applied during its application. This may prolong the recipient's appreciation of the image itself because the meaning behind it has been reinforced, and also perhaps help with attainment of any goals associated with the tat such as devotion to an idea or cause or attaining closure after the death of a loved one. We tend to see tats as passive adornments, just chillin on our flesh waiting to be observed and admired, but perhaps we are failing to take advantage of the active ability of tattoos to enhance our daily lives. We are at such a loss for tradition and community-based activity here in the West that everything has become a floating signifier. This can be depressing to think about, but at the same time it's inspiring in a way. Tats and mods in general can be whatever we want them to be. We're unlimited in our options for designs as well as the significance we attach to them. So what's it gonna be? Protection? Confidence? Inspiration? It seems that modding in the West is a choose your own adventure of sorts. Makes the Sak Yant seem like a bit of a one trick pony - but hey, I'm sure no one in Thailand is complaining. Being able to deflect bullets is a really good party trick.

it pays to be inked

Hey all! Merry Christmas if you celebrate that kinda thing :o) Since my family does, and are currently trying to rip me away from my MacBook to join in the festivities, I'm gonna have to make this short. Not a problem though, as all I really have to say is that if you're tatted with any kind of Asian-inspired imagery, you can submit a photo of your mods to a contest run by TY KU liquor. Just fill out the form provided, attach a photo of your tat, and presto, you'll be entered to win a party thrown in your honor at the tattoo shop of your choice as well as a TY KU gift package. Never tried the stuff myself, but it's endorsed by the ladies of Missbehave magazine which, from my experience, is definitely a good sign. The deadline is January 30th, so you still have plenty of time to enter, but make sure to get in there if you qualify! It's worth a shot, and if you win your tat will be displayed in the next TY KU ad. Mods and liquor. Yum. Enjoy the holidays all!

voyeur with a cause

Body modification is a term that can be used to describe countless bodily alterations, both mainstream and alternative. The range of procedures it encompasses seems to grow every year as dedicated bod mod practitioners, plastic surgeons, and other mod specialists utilize their knowledge of the human body as well as the ever-expanding range of technologies available to them to advance the science of body modification. Some mods, like amputation and facial reconstructive surgery, are undergone to treat a pre-existing problem. Others are done purely for their aesthetic appeal, or for the very experience of pain and healing itself. Still others are done not for the modder's health or pleasure, but to have some effect on those who will be viewing the mod. That is, outward-directed mods. Some choose to tattoo swastikas on their body to educate others about the symbol's benevolent roots. Gang tattoos can also fall under this category, as obtaining one is typically a non-negotiable requirement for initiation into the gang, and because these marks are often used to distinguish friend from foe. These mods send a message. They are not a simple nostril piercing or flower tattoo that can mean something different to every viewer. They are in-your-face, and guaranteed to have an impact on the outside world. It is with this very intention that Canadian filmmaker Rob Spence will soon be getting one of the most inventive and technologically sophisticated mods I've ever encountered. After an initial eye injury and subsequent complications, Spence recently had his eye surgically removed and replaced with a prosthetic. He is now involved in a project to turn that prosthetic into a working videocamera that will record the world as he sees it, literally from his point of view. Just like any other outward-directed mod, the new eye will make Spence's private world public, in more ways than one. First off, the feed from the camera will be broadcast live on a webpage so viewers can see what Spence is seeing at all times (unless of course he has temporarily turned it off). In addition to having access to what's in front of Spence's face, viewers will also get a taste of what's going on in that buzzing mind of his. He hopes his new eye will help to disseminate his personal views on what he calls our "culture of surveillance." People have already started to tell Spence that they will not want to be filmed when he finally completes the new eye - which is exactly the reaction he's going for. "People are more scared of a center-left documentary maker with an eye than the 400 ways they are filmed every day at the school, the subway, the mall," he says. His aim is to make people more aware of the invasion of privacy that has become disturbingly commonplace in the lives of Americans, an invasion to which we have become comfortably numb.
Although he calls himself the "eyeborg guy," Spence is a bit different from typical cyborgs. Cyberpunk novels depict cyborgian characters who have melded their bodies with various technological devices in order to compete with the Man, and simply stay afloat in an ever-evolving world of corporate takeover and oppression of the common man. Rather than wanting to compete with the Man, Spence wants to reveal His subtle infringements on the rights of citizens, himself included. With his new eye Spence hopes to get people thinking about privacy, and presumably how, in recent years, more and more citizens have been willing to give up their rights and freedoms in exchange for what are hailed as "safety measures," but are in some cases nothing more than unabashed snooping sprees by Big Brother. It's easy to live in blissful denial of the fact that your private phone calls may be secretly monitored, but when your every word is being recorded by a human eye, the uncomfortable truth is inescapable. Spence's message is in your face, literally.
Hearing about Spence's project has gotten me thinking about a lot of elements of body modification that I don't think I've addressed before. For example, the idea of a mod being totally in-your-face got me thinking about people with really heavy facial modifications. Why do they do it? I love mods, but I get enough comments about my two tiny facial piercings and 3/4" lobes as it is. I couldn't imagine looking like this dude.
He probably gets stares wherever he goes, and likely gets shunned by many older folks who simply can't get past the prejudices ingrained in them decade after decade. I've been wondering if perhaps these individuals get such extensive mods to prove to society that looks can be deceiving, or at the very least that they aren't everything. Talking to a heavy modder is likely no different than talking to any other person out there. They're not insane, they're not deviant, they're probably a generally 'normal' lot in terms of their behavior and hobbies and such. I wonder if perhaps the message they're trying to send is that we need to stop judging books by their covers, whether that cover be black, transgender, disfigured, tattooed, whatever, and realize that we're all one in the same. Fuck, maybe I'm overanalyzing here...maybe they just love the aesthetic of heavy mods!
So, yea, that was my ramble for today. Hope you enjoyed it and possibly derived some sliver of education or entertainment from it. P.S. I'm totally open to any ideas for blog posts, so let me know what interests you and I'll do my best to scribble something up on it! Oh yea, in case I don't see you, happy motherfuggin holidays.

getting down with "opening up"

I am and have been, since the very beginnings of my interest in body modification, a huge fan of BME's former godfather, Shannon Larratt. His writing has always been clear, concise, and often damn witty, making for years of engaging Modblog posts and BME feature articles. After a shitshow of legal battles earlier this year, Shannon is now divorced from BMEzine, much to the chagrin of his many followers and admirers. Through his many contributions to the body modification community he has, in my opinion, advanced the subculture as well as mainstream understanding of the subculture more than any other single person in the bod mod community. He has disseminated information on every type of body modification imaginable, and has always strived to understand and explain the various practices from a range of viewpoints, yielding incredibly in-depth and well rounded sources for anyone wishing to better understand a particular aspect of the subculture. I know this is a long-winded and kiss-ass-ish intro, but I seriously respect Shannon both as an individual and a mod-vocate.
After his break with BME, Shannon continued to blog on his personal website, Zentastic, which I check out from time to time and see what he's been up to. There are usually lots of photos of his adorable daughter Nefarious and stories about their various excursions, but he also keeps readers up to date on his many projects, one of which being a newly released book of interviews called "Opening Up." In accordance with Shannon's dedication to keeping bod mod info ever-flowing and ever-accesible, the book is available from Zentastic under a creative commons license in PDF form FOH FREEZ! How awesome is that? I personally downloaded a copy right away, but after having perused it a bit have asked for a hard copy for Christmas. Let me tell you right now: if you are at all interested in body modification, as an artist, piercer, modder, BIID sufferer, psychologist, sociologist - the list goes on - you need this publication. It's chock full of interviews with everyone from piercers, tattoo artists, and extreme body mod practitioners to doctors, voluntary amputees, and modified celebrities. There are even gag-inducing sections that relay mod artists' horror stories with perverted and hygienically challenged customers, as well as an informative section on the development of microdermals and surface piercing.
Although this post isn't a review of the book, it is my version of a gold star, two thumbs up, smiley face, what have you. If you're looking for the perfect Xmas gift for that special modded someone, there's no doubt that their face with light up with sheer glee upon receiving this gem. I might return to talking more about this book once I've read more than the 5 or 6 interviews I've checked out so far, but I wanted to mention it as early as possible so all y'all readers can check it out for yourselves. Enjoi, and, you're welcome :o)

temporary failure to conform

As the majority of my customers at Chili's are older folks or families, it's always nice to have a modded bunch to serve. I know that looks can be deceiving, but I've found that most modders I meet often share at least some basic views of mine and are a pleasure to chat with. Enter an adorable couple at table 93, Dnash and his lovely Icelandic lady, Aggatho. They're both wearing matching crocheted beanies (which I later found out were made by Agga herself) that have little apple stems poking out the top, and sit next to one another rather than on opposite sides of the booth they occupied. Luckily I'm allowed to wear my 3/4" plugs to work, and they acted as the perfect little ice breaker to get us into talking about mods. Agga sported a pair of cute red plugs, an eyebrow barbell, and a nostril ring, while Dnash was adorned only with his mass of facial hair (although after spotting a sparkle up mah nose told me that he previously wore a septum ring too). After talking for a few Dnash handed me his business card, saying that he makes vampire fangs for a living. I was, of course, enthralled to hear this, as fangs are a rarely seen but really effing cool mod in my opinion. Although the option is certainly available to get one's teeth filed into a point, it's a painful and permanent procedure that I would imagine is regretted more often than not. Biting my tongue is painful enough as it is! Ouch... Dnash's creations provide a great solution for those interested in vamping (ha) up their look, but only part-time. As I inquired further about the fangs Agga pulled out what looked like a pill case, and within seconds had slipped two tooth-colored caps onto her canines. I was amazed at how flawless they looked! If I had encountered her with the fang-sthestics already in I definitely would have assumed them to be her real teeth. And, to be honest, they also looked pretty hot! Although I'm not into the whole vampire aesthetic/subculture, I've actually been considering getting a pair ever since our meeting!
In any case, the encounter got me thinking about all the temporary mods out there, and how they allow people to maintain a professional appearance when necessary, like in the workplace and at family gatherings (depending on your family, of course), but also be able to satisfy the desire to modify one's body when alone or in the company of more open-minded folk. There are a few categories of temporary body mods, including those related to particular subcultures (fangs, corsetry/tightlacing, ear pointing - real, faux), mainstream mods gone funky (crazy contact lenses 1, 2, extreme hair color, elaborate nails, artsy makeup 1, 2), special occasion or extreme mods (body painting/airbrushing, play piercing, saline injection), and kiddie mods (henna, temporary tats, magnetic earrings). I love that there are so many options to customize, decorate, and alter one's body without having to make a permanent commitment. Although permanent mods certainly hold a value all their own, temporary mods allow for individuals to get to know their body better, to remove themselves from their prim and proper everyday appearance (and, perhaps, state of mind), and to fulfill their instinctual desire to mod without fear of repercussions from what may be a not-so-mod-friendly community. Plus it's just really fun. I mean, imagine smiling at your local bank teller while sporting a set of Dnash's pearlies. Good for a double-take, that's for sure :o)
Whether they're done alone as explorations of the body or done in order to achieve a temporarily different look, non-permanent mods offer all the fun of body modification without the various anxieties that sometimes accompany it. So, what's your poison?

the tatted celeb effect

Sooo...after a week of emitting positive energies into the universe and hoping with all my might that I would be able to get my second egg tattoo before the holidays, I got a call from Transcend on Sunday night! Lou had a cancellation for Monday and I was more than happy to take the appointment, and thus am now the bearer of two gorrrgeous inked Ukrainian Easter eggs! I can't wait 'till they're healed so I can finally show my Mom, who, I've decided, is going to love them (fingers crossed!). I know her reaction to my plans to get the tats wasn't so supportive, but once she sees the final product I don't think she'll be able to resist falling in love with them.
In other news, Brad Pitt was on an episode of Oprah recently, and in response to a question from a fan about the significance of his many tattoos, became reallllly awkward and, arguably, kinda irritated. He completely evaded the fan's original question despite being encouraged by both his recent co-star, Cate Blanchett, and Oprah herself to spill about his mods. Unfortunately for his devoted (read: obsessive) fan of 17 years, Pitt remained unwavering in his decision to not speak about (and certainly to not reveal) his mods. Luckily for curious viewers the fan had a thorough knowledge of his ink work, and pressed Pitt to speak about one tattoo in particular: an Ice Man. Pitt still refused, making for quite an uncomfortable situation considering he gave no explanation whatsoever for the apparent sensitivity of the subject. At that point Oprah finally changed topics but, phew, what a tense few minutes. I couldn't believe how secretive Pitt was being about his tats, and wondered what was going on in his head to make him clam up like that. I have to admit I was disappointed in him at first, assuming that he was embarrassed to have tats at all, not wanting to be associated with what some of Oprah's viewers might see as a barbaric or juvenile practice. But thinking back, his emotional reaction probably had less to do with being ashamed of his tats and more to do with being frustrated that he truly can't retain any aspects of his life as private property. I mean, it's also possible that he's no longer happy with the tats, and wants to pretend they're not even there. But I'd bet that the real issue was that the stories behind his tats reveal a lot about him - the real him, not the him that goes on Oprah to promote his movies - and he wanted to keep that part of his life to himself. Poor guy doesn't really get much privacy I guess, so it's no surprise that he would want to maintain his body as the last frontier not poked 'n prodded by the ravenous media. Thoughts?
Although Pitt may not have been concealing his ink specifically to maintain some sort of image in the eyes of his fans, I think that revealing them probably would have helped boost the perception of tats in general by some skeptical Oprah viewers. I show off my tats to customers at work all the time, and although most people who actually talk to me about them are pro-tat, others apparently can't help asking me why I would "do something like that to myself," with more than a hint of disdain in their tone. In the West, negative reactions to modified bodies seem to be relatively rare, and will often manifest in the form of a post-encounter conversation -"Did you see that girl's chest? It was completely tattooed! How unfeminine..." - rather than outright criticism. However in Japan, having visible tattoos can get you kicked out of a hot spring, public bath, or water park, get your gym membership revoked, get you fired from your job, or cause fellow train passengers to refrain from sitting near you or even looking at you. For those of my readers unfamiliar with the origins of tattooing in Japan, public sanctions against displaying tats and disdain for tats in general are not without reason. The Japanese aren't simply behind the times or too straightlaced to be accepting of tattoos, but rather have come to associate tattooing with Yakuza, or the Japanese mafia. The cutthroat criminals have been known to acquire elaborate tattooed bodysuits to pay homage to their clan, whereas the typical Japanese citizen sports pristine, unadorned skin. Thus, the sight of a tattoo in Japan, whether on a gaijin or a native, instinctually evokes fear and contempt. So, whereas tats are incorrectly associated with violence and delinquincy by some older or more sheltered Westnerners, such associations actually still hold true in Japan. Of course, there are tatted convicts in the West as well as harmless tatted housewives in Japan, but the majority groups are flip-flopped.
I've been researching the verity of negative reactions to tattoos on an awesome forum called Gaijin Pot, where us gaijin (Japanese outsiders) can go to ask questions about Japanese culture that are then answered by Japanese natives or foreigners currently living in the land of the rising sun. Searching the term "tattoo" on Gaijin Pot yields thread after thread of conversations about the reception of tattoed gaijin in Japan, from questions of where to find a tat-friendly gym to whether to reveal one's tats to one's host family before being invited to an onsen (hot spring) for the first time. From what I can gather, having visible tats in large cities like Tokyo typically isn't an issue considering the wide variety of nationalities and cultural quirks found there, but things are quite different in a small town. People can be extemely rude to the tatted, leaving some inked foreigners dumbfounded and offended at their seemingly unfounded ill treatment.
Since tattoos are so much more likely to be negatively received in Japan than the States, their appearance in pop culture is far more valuable. The J-pop singer, Namie Amuro, is one of the most prominent tatted celebs in Japan, and some have speculated that her tattiliciousness has contributed to a recent boom in tattooing amongst J-girls in particular (despite her official website featuring airbrushed and tat-free photos of her...). Not wanting to risk compromising their futures, some girls have opted for temporary tattoos to satisfy their urge to mod, but I would assume that the effect on Japanese society remains the same, faux or not. Simply seeing tattoos on giggling schoolgirls and trendy gonguros, as well as a harmless pop singer, can only help improve the perception of tats by the Japanese public. The same effect is achieved in the States when tatted celebs openly flaunt their ink, as one NY Times article recognized this past September. Sometimes all that is necessary for stereotypes to be broken down is more evidence to the contrary of popular assumptions than in support of them. So, please Mr. Pitt, tell us more about your mysterious Ice Man. Show us that your tats were acquired for reasons relevant to your life experiences, and that you're proud to have them. Maybe hit up some onsen while you're at it. People already love you, so rather than your tats changing people's perception of you, maybe they'll change people's perception of tats themselves.

the internet <3's modding

So, I'm a chronic time-waster. If I'm working a double I'll come home for the 2-3 hour break and probbbably spend the majority of it in front of a computer. Actually, that's exactly what I'm doing right now :o) In addition to blogging I love finding new tunes to check out, perusing eBay, and, of course, spending a good chunk of time seeing what friends have been up to through Facebook. But I think out of all my time spent on the internet the majority goes to reading blogs. Of course I read Modblog (which, by the way, after having gotten shitty post-Shannon has finally started to shape up again), but I also love techy blogs like BoingBoing and Wired. Both boast brilliant posts that never fail to turn me onto the most intriguing stories, photos, places, gadgets etc. etc. EVER. I could probably spend an entire day reading their archives, and in doing so totally accumulate enough conversation starters to last a year.
Considering that these blogs cover all things awesome, it's no surprise that both feature mod-related stories from time to time. The most recent one I encountered is a photo gallery of tattoos related to bicycling that I found on Wired. Just goes to show that for every hobby, occupation, or special interest there are people who feel the need to literally embody their passion. Even people who love chairs!! Wired has also featured galleries of geek and comic tattoos in the past, always with accompanying explanations of the tattoo's significance for the wearer. They may not always showcase the most intricate or well-crafted tats, but the message comes through: tattoos are a unique way of celebrating what you value in life.
So, I've been watching a lot of Japanorama recently, which means you'll be getting a whole slew of blogs coming up that are about Japan in some capacity. For now, just a little thought. Japanese youngsters often belong to different Zoku, or clans. How one dresses depends on the clan with which one associates - or rather, one associates with the clan one wants to dress like! Some dress up like anime characters, others don a fake-baked, bleach blonde California girl/guy look (the Ganguro/Ganguras). Anything goes in the realm of Japanese fashion, that is, except the mixing of styles - you stick with your chosen style and quintessentially exemplify that style in every outfit. A lolita would not rock a facial piercing. On the other hand, for most Westerners mods need not dictate or accord with the rest of one's look. Nose studs and tattoos can be found on girls who only wear luxury duds. College professors have gauged earlobes. Macho dudes rock nipple rings. Mods blend seamlessly into almost any pre-existing Western style. What changes, for us, is the type of mod. Our individuality is expressed through our choice of what kind of mod to acquire, not what clothing style to adhere to. Seen this way mods are much different for Westerners than for the Japanese. Mods are, in our case, an individualistic statement of one's unique personality vs., for members of a particular Zoku, one ingredient of a cookie-cutter style. Not to mention that very few Japanese retain their mods into adulthood...but that's for the next post. Thanks for tuning in, folks. Keep in touch, eh?

rock your vote

Tune in to any news media source today and odds are you'll be bombarded with info related to tomorrow's Presidential election. Everyone's talking politics lately, even people you wouldn't peg as registered voters. So, to reward citizens for actually giving a fuck this election, a number of businesses are offering a variety of free products and services tomorrow for anyone who can prove they voted. Starbucks is in on it, giving away a free tall (small, for you anti-establishment types) coffee to voters, as is Krispy Kreme, where you can get a free star-shaped, patriotically decorated doughnut for having voted. Voters in NY, LA, and Seattle can even get a free sex toy at Babeland porn shops! What a country...
What I found particularly interesting (i.e. mod-related) about this freebie trend is that even mod-trepreneurs are giving what they can to help increase voter turnout. One Kirksville, MO tattoo artist named Flash is offering $5 body piercings to the voterific modders amongst us as "incentive to get out there and vote." Damn, wish I lived in Missouri. Um, wait a second...scratch that. But hey for those of you stuck there anyways it's an awesome deal so definitely take advantage.
Oddly enough, the only other mod-related giveaway associated with the elections is an offer not to get adorned but to remove an unwanted mod. Yup, New Looks Tattoo Removal of Dallas, TX is offering one free laser tattoo removal treatment (max size 4" x 4") tomorrow for anyone with proof or "your word" that you voted. Pretty effing cool concept - "Cast your ballot, cast off your bad tattoo" says their website's advertisement of the offer. "This election is about change. We'll be getting a new President and you will be getting a new look." But just like when Obama wins the election, the fight doesn't end there. You'll have to pay for the rest of your treatments of which there could potentially be up to 9 @ about $500 per session depending on where you go. Change doesn't come easy, but it's up to us to set the wheels in motion. I hope that tomorrow those of my readers who are registered to vote get out and do so. Even if you can't get a free piercing out of it you will get to rock an "I Voted" sticker, both of which serve as evidence of our freedom to express ourselves. And who knows, maybe a congressional candidate from your home state is a supporter of allowing mods in the workplace and your vote helps propel some new bills into the hands of the mighty! You'll never know if you don't get informed. But you have, like, 28 hours, so definitely get on that...

childlike tat-awe

My Mom sometimes takes care of an adorable five-year-old by the name of Bryan. He's an outgoing one for sure, always chattering to himself or whoever cares to listen. He and his mother came over this afternoon for pizza, and in between all the grown-up talk about the upcoming election and such he would politely interject from time to time with "Um, esscuse me..." I would look over at him, and each time he would point to a body part of mine and ask, with the most adorably inquisitive expression, "Whass that?" First it was my hair, which is currently a mix of light brown, blonde, and highlighter pink. In response to his question I answered, "That's my real hair, it's pink!" My Mom quickly added "She did it for Halloween, Bryan." I was irritated at her attempt to downplay the true normalcy of this look for me. I don't think she was embarrassed, as Bryan's mother is a good friend of hers and a pretty open-minded one at that, but she couldn't help saying something to quell Bryan's curiosity and hopefully end his close investigation of my unconventional bodily adornments.
When I first came into the room I had tried to hide my septum ring but was too late. Bryan's extraordinarily observant gaze was apparently drawn toward the jewelry before I could get a chance to hide it, and his second inquiry needed no verbal expression. As I was listening to my mother and her friend chat I noticed that Bryan was trying his darndest to sneak a peek up my schnoz. "Are you looking for my nose piercing?" I asked him, as I flipped it out. He simply stared in shock, apparently not knowing how to express his amazement at my trick, not knowing what to ask first. After a few seconds his gaze shifted slightly downward, invoking another "Whass that one?" "That's my lip ring," I explained, "and it's just like Mary's earrings, but on my lip." It was a lot harder to explain mods to a child than I had ever expected. My mother had always warned me that I'd be sorry when I had to explain my mods to my kids, but I really didn't anticipate that doing so would be such a delicate task. I didn't want to promote mods too heavily as not to betray any wishes Bryan's Mom has to keep him away from modding, but I also didn't want to sell out and simply play them off as "nothing." I found a middle road by comparing my mods to a "normal" cultural phenomenon (ear piercing), one that Bryan surely encounters every day and thus no longer asks about. This way of dealing with his interrogation got me thinking - Bryan's choice of questions is a testament to the power of social conditioning to turn an arbitrary difference (piercing of the ear vs. the nose or lip) into a significant one. My job used to allow nose studs but not lip piercings and after questions about the difference came up they were forced to ban all visible piercings other than those on the ear. They didn't have an answer as to why one type of facial piercing was more acceptable than another because they surely had never taken the time to consier the question themselves. They've simply been conditioned to see nose studs as a socially acceptable and quite mainstream adornment, and thus appropriate for a restaurant server to sport. The unwritten rules of society blow my mind sometimes. And what's worse than the rules themselves is that we rarely realize how much our perceptions are shaped and skewed by them. Sometimes it takes the extraordinarily pliable mind of a child to remind us how much of what we know has been taught rather than proven.

getting over keeping it under wraps

"You'll understand when you have kids of your own someday!"
I don't know if my mom has ever said those exact words to me in regard to her disdain for my mods, but I think they pretty much sum up her feelings. She sees my body as sacred, and modification as a perversion of this pristine temple she helped create and shape. I see my body as a blank (well, partially embellished) canvas on which to express the most sacred elements of my life. We just don't see eye to eye, and in my eyes, never will. Perhaps it'll take becoming a mother myself to finally get it, but even then I will never be able to fully comprehend how someone can experience such a flood of negative emotions as my mother sometimes does in response to my mods.
In any case, I received a call a few weeks ago from a friend who knows Lou Jacque, an extremely talented tattoo artist from Transcend Tattoo in Branford, CT. He told me that one of Lou's clients had canceled their appointment for the following Monday, and wondered if I wanted to take the spot. Mind you, Lou's waiting list currently stretches into Spring 2009, so I was elated to hear that I would be able to sneak in with mere days notice. I accepted the offer and almost immediately got to work tweaking the tat ideas that had I had been causally mulling over for the last year or so. I had already decided that the half sleeve I want would be done by Mike DeVries (that is as soon as I save enough dough to even make an appointment!), so the only other tat that I was positively sure I wanted was a set of Ukrainian eggs on the backs of my calves. They would be a tribute of sorts to my amazing mother and the craft she's been perfecting for as long as I can remember - making Ukrainian eggs! Mom means the world to me, and the gratitude I have for all she's done for me over the years is sometimes overwhelming. I want a part of her to be part of me forever.
After hanging up with my friend I pulled out a few of the bowls-o-eggs my mother has accumulated over the years and began to search for the perfect designs. The two eggs I decided on were both large duck eggs, as opposed to the significantly smaller chicken eggs she typically decorates. Their designs were striking in their simplicity, both boasting star patterns and eye-pleasing color palettes. I snapped a few photos of them and sent them off to Lou along with some details on the style I was going for, as well as some photos of the type of egg stand I wanted to incorporate in the designs. It's remarkable how the speed and spontaneity with which the whole thing was coming together upped the excitement factor a few notches as compared to a typical pre-tat experience. There's usually a consultation, drawing up of designs, another consultation to finalize the design, making the actual appointment, then waiting...and waiting...and waiting. I felt like I was a V.I.P. getting ushered through all the bullshit and right into the good stuff!
The next day I attended open-mic night at Huntington St. Cafe (my old workplace!) and excitedly told my friends there about my luck and the fast-approaching appointment. As usual, my Mom was in attendance as well, and I was careful to ensure that she was out of earshot during my announcement. After I explained the concept of the tat itself, everyone was interested to hear what Mom thought of the idea. I cringed at the question, and meekly answered that I wouldn't be telling her about it. Upon actually hearing myself say those words, a wave of uncertainty came over me. How could I be getting a permanent mark on my body in honor of someone who despises permanent body marks?! Thankfully, after talking with my friend Betsy I was assured that Mom doesn't have to like the tattoos for their meaning to hold true. They would ensure that, no matter what, I would always have her with me. I felt much better after coming to this conclusion, and became confident in my decision to get the tats. Unfortunately, this confidence eventually combined with a few vodka cocktails and I suddenly found myself spilling the whole thing to Mom...
As I should have expected but naively (i.e. drunkenly) didn't, her response was less than enthusiastic. She basically told me that she hated the idea so much that she didn't even believe I was going to do something that would make her as unhappy as this would. I had half-expected an ambivalent or at the very worst a negative reaction, but her actual response was far worse. She didn't speak to me the rest of the night.
I was pretty disappointed that Mom didn't have one of the moments of modification clarity that I always prayed she would, but regardless I remained unwavering in my decision to get the tats. If I had always listened to my parents when they ordered me not to get modded I would have missed out on the enlightening experiences that came along with those mods. It was settled.
A few days of concentrated anticipation later, it was suddenly Monday and there I was at Transcend, 10am, nervously waiting for Lou to finish his stoge and get to work on my leg. My nerves weren't because of the impending pain, but rather a cold-feet effect of sorts that made me freak out at the fact that I had decided to get the tats only 5 days prior. Was I really sure I wanted them? What about all the times I had advised friends to think carefully before deciding to get inked? Was I just excited at the rare opportunity to be chosen as the one person out of so many others interested in getting tatted by Lou to take the open spot? Before I could come up with any definitive answers to ease my anxiety, Lou appeared at the door. "Ready?" he asked. The excitement that suddenly overcame me at that moment neutralized all traces of nervousness. "Yup!" I replied. And I was.

Fresh!Healed!

Fast forward to today, about three weeks later and the first egg is completely healed. We decided not to do the second egg that day, but Lou promised that he would get me in for it within the next few weeks. I'm very happy to report that all my hesitation was for nothing, as I am absolutely in love with egg #1. It's a bit hard to tell from the photos (mainly because I was essentially doing backbends to take them!), but the style in which Lou did the tat makes it look pretty dern realistic, right down to a shiny metal stand! Plus the design perfectly accentuates the shape of my calf - it's exactly what I wanted! Even the significance has had the desired impact on me. I've been more patient with my Mom when she annoys me, and seeing it makes me smile thinking about her joyous personality and all that she's done for me. Now my only obstacles are A) finding a time when both Lou and I are free to do the second egg, and B) hiding egg #1 from my Mom.
I think she knows that I have it, but she doesn't want to see it or talk about it. I'm pretty, er, free around my Mom, so she's become accustomed to seeing me prance around in the nude after a shower or while getting dressed. But considering she hasn't seen my nipple piercings either, I now have to make sure I'm always fully clothed! Sometimes I'll find myself halfway to the kitchen before realizing that my tat is out in plain sight and having to retreat to throw on a pair of sweats. It's not the inconvenience of this necessity that gets to me, but rather the fact that my mother still has trouble accepting my mods. She used to hate my septum ring and insisted I wear it tucked up in my nostrils when in her presence, but now it's a part of my everyday getup. I'm pretty sure she just got used to it and now doesn't even notice it's there at all. I figure she'll get used to the egg tats with time as well, so recently I've been "forgetting" to keep egg #1 covered from time to time. I don't think she's seen it yet, but part of me wants to believe that when she does she'll forget about the tattoo aspect of it and simply appreciate both its beauty as art and the talent it took to create such a stunning image on flesh. Not likely, but a girl can dream. I think I'll wait until the second egg has healed before actually presenting the tats to her. That way she can experience the full effect of their symmetry, complementary colors, and anatomical appropriateness, making it pretty friggin hard to hate them at first sight. In the meantime I'll deal with keeping what I see as a beautiful part of my life under wraps, and she'll keep pretending that my modding days are over.
So, after all this I'm pretty curious to see whether the whole "when you have kids of your own" thing will pan out. I guess for now I'm just gonna have to look past our difference of opinion, even if it does mean no more cooking in the nude. Gosh darn it.